The internet has some very good resources for coping with pregnancy losses and stillbirths. Usually, these websites are the only few places where the grieving parties have avenue to find some solace.
It is not easy to find a physical friend or relative who understands the feelings the person is going through. Sometimes, one can find support groups but they are hard to come by.
I would like to share these excellent articles from :
Wisconsin Stillbirth Service Program
The WiSSP website has three basic goals:
1. To increase general awareness and knowledge about stillbirth, its causes, frequency, and the parental needs following such an experience;
2. To provide access to accurate information and linkages to families who have experienced stillbirth;
3. To provide scientifically and medically sound information to medical and support professionals, helping to care for families who have experienced stillbirth;
They have very detailed information on what is stillbirth and miscarriage, how to cope and some medical explanations.
When your baby is stillborn, expectations , hopes and dreams are cruelly shattered and lives are changed. Many parents have initial feelings of shock and confusion when told that their baby has died. What happened? Why you? Babies are not supposed to die. When they do, it can be devastating, overwhelming, and painful. We are very sorry that your baby died. No one can take away the pain, but we hope the following information will answer some questions, provide reassurance, and help you.
What is stillbirth?
You may not have heard of stillbirth until you experienced it. When a baby dies before delivery, many people commonly think of miscarriage. Both stillbirth and miscarriage are types of pregnancy loss, but they differ by when the loss occurs. A miscarriage (sometimes called a spontaneous abortion) is when a baby dies before the 20th week of pregnancy. Stillbirth is the death of a baby after the 20th week of pregnancy but before delivery.
Continue reading on WISSP website
ummunzir Said:
on April 10, 2006 at 9:43 pm
**** SORRY, LONG COMMENT ****
My first pregnancy was full of happy memories, at least until my due date. I was healthy all the way no high/low bp, mgtt okay and even baby was progressing beautifully. My edd was 2nd July 1990. When I went for my check-up on that date, I was told that I had to come again on the 9th to be induced if no contractions appeared in the next few days.
I was induced on the 9th (pitosin - more than a bottle). By the late afternoon when the contractions were really strong but no signs of the baby coming; my doctor decided to take off the drip and let me rest overnite at the maternity clinic. I was discharged the following morning and was given a Foetal Movement Chart to fill in and was told to come back immediately if there’s any thing ( show, contraction etc).
I went home, though a bit wary at such decision by my doctor. 3 days after that I could fill in the FMC in less than an hour. The baby was moving vigourously and toward the evening began to move less and less. We went back to the clinic and asked to see the doctor. She was paged but didn’t response even after an hour. That was when my husband decided to take me to the General Hospital where a scan was done and we got a confirmation that we had lost our first baby. We hugged each other and cried our hearts out for losing our baby.
Our mistake was that we trusted too much our doctor. This was our first and didn’t know that a failed induction should have been followed by a ceaserian section. I felt my world crumbled and felt that I couldn’t face the rest of the world. I felt guilty for not being able to deliver a healthy living baby.
My baby was born dead on the 15th of July 1990 at 10.44 pm after a labor of about 12 hours. I couldn’t bear to look at him though the nurses asked whether I wanted to hold or looked at him. I felt that I’ve failed him. I was crying and crying and was feeling self-pity.
Anyhow, now I have 6 beautiful children; 5 girls and the youngest a boy. Although 16 yrs has passed since then, I can relive every detail, the feelings, the situation the faces of the nurses, doctors even the smell….
admin Said:
on April 18, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Hi Ummunzir
Thank you for sharing. I am glad that you give us, the newly bereaved mothers the comfort that we will never ever forget those moments. No doubt there are some that we wish to completely forget, but never will we forget our child, ya? Thanks once again and I am sure many people will benefit from your sharing. *hugs*
michelle snider Said:
on July 9, 2008 at 8:25 am
My story is a little bit different, i have a 4 yr old with my ex husband and now my new husband and i have had a 23 week still birth this time last year and now i’m 17 weeks pregnant and they know for a fact that i’m going to lose my baby again. We have to go to a chromosomal specialist in birmingham al . The last pregnancy looked normal, they said it ended by spontaneous rupture of the cord, this time my baby has a chromosomal abnormality called a cystic hygroma, which means it has fluid on it’s neck and in it’s chest and stomach. I don’t know what my chances of my husband and i having a baby are if naybodky has had the same problems i feel for you as well please share your stories with me and let me know whether or not there is hope, i go to the soctor on the 18th of this month, but it will take weeks to find out naything, and they said my baby will be dead by then.